


To Understand Him

by padfootsotter



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, am i rite?, i'm jonsa trash, it's fluffy and probably ooc but who tf cares, jaime is an instigator, jon's action in season seven seen through the eyes of a jonsa shipper, jonsa seen through the eyes of the lannister brothers, poetry inspired, undercover! jon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootsotter/pseuds/padfootsotter
Summary: Everything that he's ever done has been for their family, for the North, for her. Jon needs Sansa to understand that she's been with him every step of the way ever since he left Winterfell. Jon will do anything to keep the North and her safe.-based on the poem 'to know him', by lang leav.





	To Understand Him

**_If you want to know his heart, pay close attention to what angers him._ **

 

“I love her as I loved her mother.”

 

As soon as the words came out of Littlefinger’s mouth, Jon felt his fist tighten and jaw clench. Swiftly turning around he grabbed the other man’s neck and pushed him back to the wall. Jon felt his anger rise when he saw a smirk appearing on his face. He tightened his hold on the man, relishing in the fear creeping into his eyes.

 

“Touch my sister, and I’ll kill you myself,” Jon growled as he once again tightened his grip. It took everything in his body not to kill the man right now. The man in front of him was the reason why Sansa was wedded to Ramsay Bolton, why she was hurt Ramsay. Her suffering, her pain. He had to remind himself that this isn’t what Sansa wanted. She somehow needed the slimy bastard in front of him.

 

Littlefinger knew that Jon’s words were a promise. He made that promise several moons ago to Sansa himself, one that he intended to keep until his last dying breath.

 

Forcing himself away from Littlefinger, he stalked away from him and out of the crypts. He was met with the snow in his face, he saw his horse saddled up and his men waiting for him. Letting out a deep breath he walked to his horse and readied himself.

 

He felt a pair of eyes staring at him from behind and looked to the spot where two Tully blue eyes will be looking at him. Jon looked up and saw Sansa’s face, he could see that she was trying to put a facade on but even from where he was, Jon could see sadness in her eyes. He stared at her for a moment taking in her appearance, knowing that he would miss her more than anything. Finally he put up a hand and she copied his gesture. A small smile appeared on his face and one graced her face. He felt his heart skip a beat and forced himself to look away from her. It took everything in his power not to turn his horse back and stay with Sansa in Winterfell.

 __________________________

He walked along the Dragonstone walls leading up to the Castle, Tyrion Lannister in front of him. Jon moved forwards, trying to run through his head what he was going to say to the Dragon Queen, to convince her. Thinking, he barely heard Tyrion’s words but at the mention of Sansa’s name he looked towards the man.

 

“Does she miss me terribly?”

 

Jon sharply looked towards Tyrion, glaring at the man’s head. He wondered if the other man felt his glare. Tyrion briefly looked over his shoulder and looked at Jon. “The marriage wasn’t consummated.”

 

“I didn’t ask,” Jon bit out angrily. He discreetly let out a sigh of relief. He unclenched his fist that he didn’t even know were clenched. Somewhere deep down in his gut, Jon questioned whether Robb would have acted the same as he did.

* * *

 

**_If you want to know his mind, listen for words that linger in his silence._ **

 

“Until I return, the North is yours.” The shock on Sansa’s face wouldn’t be noticeable to someone who didn’t know her but Jon knew better. He knew that this was the moment that they fully trusted each other. He nodded at her. _Take good care of Winterfell, I know that out of everyone you’ll know how to run it. You were born for this. I trust you, Sansa._

__________________________

“I’d like to leave.” It was there, he needed to put those words out. He needed to get out of there. _I need to get back to Sansa. I need to make sure she’s okay._

  
__________________________

Jon looked at the parchment on his table, he sighed wearily and looked at the words. It was all blending together, all the words that he knew would cut through Sansa’s heart. Gods, he hoped she saw the meaning behind his words.

 

_Cersei Lannister has pledged her forces to our cause… I know that she has something else on the table though we can’t see it. Tyrion has been convinced that his sister will help our cause. I listened to you. I know what she’s like from what you have told me. Please understand that I took your words to heart._  

_I have pledged our forces to Daenerys as the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms...I need her dragons. I don’t need her but her dragons to fight the Army of the Undead. I couldn’t think of anything else. Forgive me. I will fight for the North, for you. Let it be known that I will ever stop fighting for our home._

 

_We are both coming to organise the defence of the realm...I’m coming home to you. Gods, I know that you’re going to be distant with me and I know that I won’t be able to bear it. I broke your trust Sansa, I know that. Please do not shut me out. You know me more than anyone, please understand the words that I can’t write down._

 

_Please also forgive me for what I am about to do. Every choice that I made, I had you in my mind. I carried you in my heart, I listened to the whispers of your voice. I want to keep you safe. I promised you that._

 

* * *

**_If you want to know his soul, look at where his eyes are when you catch him smiling._ **

 

Tyrion sighed and wrapped the furs that Lady Sansa has graciously given him,around his body, he looked around and saw the Northern men huddled by the fire laughing as if it wasn’t the coldest winter.

 

He walked along the grounds of Winterfell, snow catching in his clothes. Tyrion shivered underneath. He saw his brother talking Brienne on the far side of the courtyard, his brother happier than he’s ever seen before, more relaxed too. As if sensing Tyrion’s stare, Jaime looked at him and nodded. Tyrion gave his brother a smile and started walking towards Godswood. Both Jon and Sansa told him that it was the quietest place in Winterfell and it was a guarantee that no one would disturb him there.

 

Tyrion walked quickly, taking no time to take the scenery. He needed to sit down and think to himself. Important questions were running around his head. He needed to think and he needed to think quickly. As he approached his destination Tyrion noticed that there was already two people there.

 

He slowly stopped his walking, he looked at the scene in front of him and quietly observed. He knew that this was wrong spying on the Lord and Lady of Winterfell, but what a picture they painted. The two Starks, in their dark clothing against the white snow. Sansa’s hair red as fire, and Jon’s dark as night. He could see Jon’s holding Sansa’s as she leaned to him.

 

“I understood what you wrote,” he heard Sansa say. “I never doubted you for a moment.”

 

Tyrion’s eyes moved to Jon, wondering what she exactly understood. Jon let out a sigh, his breath physically forming in front of him. “I’m glad. I thought...I thought that when I arrived that you would shut me out. That you would not trust me anymore…that...that you would hate me.”

 

Sansa’s head snapped up and looked at Jon, she placed her hands on his face, Jon unknowingly pressing his face to Sansa’s gloved hand. “I could never,” she gasped. “Jon, listen to me. I could never hate you.”

 

“Once you did,” was his somber reply.

 

A wave of sadness and guilt hit Sansa, “I didn’t know any better. I thought I was doing the right thing.” She frowned, “Jon, I’m so sorry for that. If I could turn back time and treat you better I would, you have to know that.”

 

Jon reached up and covered Sansa’s hands, “Aye, I know.” Slowly he grabbed them and lowered them down. Taking a step, he pressed his forehead against hers.

 

“I would never shut you out. You’re a Stark, and the pack looks after one another.”

 

“Am I still a Stark, after what I did?”

 

“Always. You’ll always be a Stark to me.”

 

Without another word, Jon wrapped his arms around Sansa, and slowly lifted her, much like he did when they first reunited at Castle Black. He burrowed his head into her neck, and he could feel Sansa doing the same. Gently he lowered her but kept his arms around her. Once her feet was back on the ground he tightened his grip around her once more.

 

Tyrion watched as Jon and Sansa embraced much like lovers would rather than siblings. He watched as a small smile appear on Jon’s still closed face. Tyrion watched as they broke apart but still kept their hands together, he watched as they sat down on the ground. He was suddenly struck at how he could have easily mistook them for Ned and Catelyn Stark.

 

Jon looked at Sansa once again, a larger smile appearing on his face. Tyrion has never seen a smile on Jon’s face the whole time he’s been with him, nor has he seen Sansa smile before that large in Kingslanding. Retreating and taking one more look at them, Tyrion realised that maybe Daenerys’ words before were true. Maybe Jon was never in love with her...maybe he was in love with somebody else, and that somebody reciprocated those feelings.

 

Alas, they were Ned’s kids and they would never be together...yet they were Ned’s kids, and his children were loyal. They were loyal to their own.

 

* * *

 

Jaime stretched out his legs and grabbed his cup of wine and leaned back, enjoying the serenity and warmth that Winterfell gave him. He looked in front of him, the Lords and Ladies of the North gathered, and much to their dismay throwing a welcoming feast to the intruding Queen. He looked to his right where Sansa sat; regal and beautiful she was.

 

He turned his attention to the Dragon Queen who sat a few spaces from Lady Sansa, a small frown appearing on her face as she tried to get Jon to dance with her. From where he sat, somehow he could see the yearning of Sansa wanting to dance. Maybe the little girl who yearned to dance and become a Queen was still alive. Downing his wine, he stood up and walked over to her.

 

“Lady Sansa, will you do the favour of dancing with me?” Jaime held out his right hand. She looked at him and arched a brow. After a few moments she placed her hand in his. He led her to dance floor and wrapped his arms around her.

 

Jaime’s gaze drifted to the high table where a Jon Snow was clenching his fist. Even from where he stood, Jaime could see Jon grinding his teeth. He turned his attention to the woman in front of him and back to the other man. A moment of realisation came to him. Before he could think of anymore, a Wildling cut in between them and demanded good naturedly for Sansa to dance with him. With a laugh and an apologetic look to Jaime, Sansa started dancing with Tormund.

 

Walking away from the scene, he decided to sit next to Jon. He could hear Sansa’s laugh as Tormund danced idiotically. Quickly glancing to Jon’s face he could see a soft look appear on the man’s face.

 

“Beautiful isn’t she?” Jaime murmured quietly so it was only the two of them could hear.

 

Eyes still focused on Sansa, Jon replied, “Aye, she is.” Jaime smiled knowing that Jon didn’t even know what he was saying. A small smile appeared on Jon’s face as Sansa’s gaze caught his and her flashing a small smile to him.

 

Sansa walked to Jon, her hand held out as she stood in front of him. Without a word he placed his hand in hers and she led him to dance with her.

 

As Jaime watched Jon and Sansa dance slowly to the music, as if it was only the two of them, Jaime realised that it was different to what he and Cersei had. Silently, he prayed to the Gods to let the two of them be happy with each other. After all, it’s not everyday you see true love in front of you.

**Author's Note:**

> I love the concept of undercover lover! jon. If you don't then that's fine, but if you leave hate on here saying that it's not plausible then fight me, Becky (kidding, please don't. [also sorry if I offended a Becky on here -you're groovy]). Anyway, tell me y'all think. Also follow my tumblr: @oursisthefvry for more Jonsa trash and more trash in general, you won't regret it. also, please, please, let me know if I made a mistake on here -I proofread this about ten times and saw nothing, but I know it's different from another person's pov.


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